So this woman rings up her husband in a panic:
“I’ve run out of petrol” she says “and I’m too afraid to re-fuel cos of this swine flu and that…”
“You daft bat!” he says “It’s in Mexico not in fuckin’ Texaco…”
And finally:
Bored on your way to work? Simply pretend you’re on the phone and bang on-and-on about how maaarvellous your recent 4 week holiday to Mexico was. Then simply hang up and SNEEZE…
Stan Trolley
New clips on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley
Well fuck me! Some little twonk of about 8 has just walked past my Wheeliebin in the black ice and snow of a crispy Bristol morning wearing Roller-Blades…
Surely they can’t have thought that one through?
Amazed of Bristol, Stan T
In the meantime check out my “Festive Pizza” Joke (with a snowy scape just for you) on my Stan Trolley YouTube Channel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKe13R4XViI&feature=channel_page
Bloody hell it’s cold. So cold in fact I’m slightly reluctant to relieve myself just in case it snaps off…
And as Boris Johnson (erstwhile Mayorial Twat of London) said on the News just last night: “Definitely the right sort of snow. It’s just that it’s in the wrong quantities”. Yeah right – nice one Boris…The Country, as ever, comes to a grinding gritted halt.
So anyway – in order to warm myself up – guess what I did?
I only went and ordered myself a mail-order bride didn’t I?
Yeah, get me!
I answered the following advert:
“Suki: Small, cute, into water sports & group activities…”
She was delivered this morning as it goes – and I now the proud owner of a flippin’ PENGUIN for crying out loud: Small, cute & definitely into water sports. Big flippers, keeps asking for fish…
She does look quite cute at the moment – but not in that way stupid – what with the snowy backdrop and all.
But fark knows what I’ll do with her once it’s thawed. What do you do with a second hand penguin?
I suppose there’s always Bristol Zoo Penguin Enclosure. (Quite a big clue in that really, when you think…)
We struggle on: “Stan T and the Penguin”. Hey ho…
P.S New video uploaded to YouTube:
“Skip skip skip to ma blog, skip skip skip to ma blog, skip skip skip to ma bloooooooooooog, skip to my blog my…” too late I’ve shat me pants.
Pass me the Blogroll would ya love? This toilet has been well and truly blogged…I say “blogged”, pebble-dashed more like…like a flock of sparrows it was, never even touched the sides. And a smell to beat all smells whilst I’m at it…Think of my arse as an “Ark”: All of the animals crawled up there two by two and obviously went and died…Fuck me that’s rancid…I’m sure that pigeon was off…
And talking of flatulance – as we were – check this out: Me “Doctor Fart” Joke off of YouTube…
Take it away Dr Fart on YouTube…
Did you know, some peoples’ sphincters are so tight, only dogs can hear them fart? Luckily I don’t have that problem – and my bin, when you think, is the perfect sounding board: It acts as a fan-fuckin’-tastic resonating chamber. Hear ‘em for miles you can – and smell ‘em too when I get a good wind up behind me…
“Send me some fuckin’ material over here…”
“What am I? Some sort of fuckin’ clown over here?”
Night, night
Uncle Stan (’s shat his Trolleys…)
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