Posts Tagged ‘wheeliebin’

Juggling the old finances (and cranking up the knob-gag counter) in times of credit crunch…

Look at that – a kindred spirit outside the Cashpoint “juggling his finances”…

Juggling the old finances in times of credit crunch...

Juggling the old finances in times of credit crunch...

It’s all a matter of keeping your balls in the air (madam) during times of credit crunch, I always say.

But do watch out for being a talentless twonk – cos you ain’t going to earn much standing outside a Cashpoint being a 3 ball juggler…Just ask Simon Cowell (and mind you, don’t fancy me own chances much as a “Clown in a Wheeliebin” either as it goes…Not so much “X Factor” as “Y? Factor” when you think)

Person at Cashpoint:

“Oh I must just bung some of my hard earnt cash on to that highly talented street performer/homeless person or wo’eva, immediately to my left – as a matter of priority – as soon as I get my hands on it…erm, or possibly not…Oh Sod it – I’ll just ignore ‘im”.

Life ey?

(I just hope people will turn up the old “knob-gag counter” in times of hardship: Then my days as a hapless twonk caught in a vortex in an extra large tardis-like Wheeliebin could well be coming to end…)

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The Policeman’s Truncheon (where the sun don’t shine)

Two gay men were in a dark alley when a homophobic policeman shone his torch into it. One ran off but the policeman grabbed the other. “You dirty bastard”, he shouted. “If I had caught your mate I would have shoved this truncheon up his arse”. A voice from down the the alley called out: “Yoo-hoo! I’m in the Wheeliebin!”

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The “Farty Lordship” Joke

His Lordhip farts loudly in the bath – with his faithful manservant “Waddle” in attendence.
Joke-a-holic Stan T takes up the story…

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John Cleese – there’s room in my Bin for two…

My name’s Stan Trolley – and I’m a Joke-a-holic…
A washed-up clown, caught in a vortex in an extra large Wheeliebin: I seek the Holy Grail of Comedy – only the World’s funniest Joke will finally set me free…

Poor old John Cleese ey?

Acrimonious divorce number three – from the very lovely Alyce Gold-Digger-Burger er, Eichelberger , or wo’eva (actually “Ice-Cold-Burger “ more like – don’t suppose she ever put out much)… Continue reading »

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Suck on this Usain Bolt! Fastest Knob-Gag in History delivered by yours truly…

Yep: Ladies & Gentlemen – Friends, Romans, Countrymen – Lend Me Your Rears…

I/Me/Stan Trolley – am proud to announce a New World Record: The fastest Knob-Gag in History no less, with the punchline delivered – I think you’ll find – in exactly 9.48secs – clipping a full 1/10th of a second – I think you’ll find – off of that Usain Bolt 100m quick mince/dash or wo’eva in Berlin at the World Championships earlier on today:

I thank you! (and pish – it was nothing…) Continue reading »

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