Yep – Story Time with your Uncle Stan Trolley:
Me “Bertie Bassett Monologue” chickens…
Sweet!
Stan Trolley
Coming soon: “Joke of the Day” from Stan Trolley on BoreMe.com as from September 1st…
Stan Trolley also available to stalk, er, follow on Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley
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YOUR JOKES WANTED:
Text or Voicemail to me Stan T Mob: 07738 010 640
or e-mail to stan@stantrolley.com
Text your favourite jokes to your Uncle Stan on 07738 010 640
I notice from a scrap of old Newspaper that wafted in to settle against my bin, that apparently some aggressive black bird has been dive-bombing and generally “haranguing” passers by in the San Francisco Business district…
Naome Campbell up to her old tricks again then…
Memories of course of one of the contestant fuckwit answers on “Family Fortunes” to Les Dennis in the Les Dennis era of the programme:
Les: Name a black bird with a long neck
Contestant: Er…Naome Campbell Les?
Twat! (not Les – the contestant – although thinking about it…)
Twitter twatter twitter twatter twitter twattter twot
Yep, Stan T also available now to stalk, erm, follow on Twitter:
What the fark is going on?!
Gordon Brown has only been an’ gawn an recruited your hero and mine – Sir Alan “Sid James” Sugar as special advisor & “Captain of Enterprise” for the Labour Party…
Gordon - You're Fired (he-ha-ha!) www.stantrolley.com
A bit like William Shitactor, er, Shatner as Captain Kirk off of Star Trek yelling at Simon Pegg, er, Scotty, to help “get us out of here and avert disaster”:
“The Dilithium Crystals of the Labour Party cannae’ tek it Captain – I’m giving her all she’s got…”
Pause
“Sir Alan will see you in the Boardroom now Gordon…”
“Gordon Brown: You’re Fired – He-ha-ha” (See photo above…)
Now there’s a surprise – erm not – and, as ever, nice one Sir Alan…
All we need now is Anne Robinson as some “token bird” being brought in to replace all of those other WAGs (Women Against Gordon) that have already abandoned him – and then yep, you guessed it – we’ll have a cracking sentence – with Anne Robinson – a bit like William Shatner in a dress as Captain Kirk – and Sir Alan Sugar as Leanord Nimoy (but with a poc-marked face instead of pointy ears) as Spok:
“Gordon: You are the weakest link – YOU’RE FIRED…He-ha-ha” (Scotty, put your foot down cock and take us to next Elections…)
“Aye aye Captain”…etc
"Gordon: You are the weakest link - You're Fired" www.stantrolley.com
Keepin’ it real – and very much UP
Stan T (for Pime Minister, erm, obviously)
http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley
And also now available to stalk, er, follow – on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley
P.S Check this out: Leonard Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” on YouTube (what a TWAT!)
Yep, “The Apprentice 2009″ continues and lovely-jubbs it all is too!
Phillip “Pants Man” Taylor gets the old “You’re Fired!” heave-ho from Sir Alan.
And nice one Sir Alan (as ever):
“One swallow don’t make a Summer!”
(I assume he was talking about birds rather than blow-jobs at that particular point?)
And so in conclusion then, on Episode 7:
“Phillip loves Kaaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaaaaate…” erm, etc…
Phillip loves Kaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaate: Phillip Taylor - the old soppy-dog - goes tits-up, off of "The Apprentice 2009" (and is ultimately "Pants Man") www.stantrolley.com
You old soppy-dog!
Yep, “Pants Man” you’ve jizzed in your “Pants Man” but tragically you’ve got to pack your “Pants Man” on account of the fact that “YOU’RE FIRED” er, Man – on account of you being a little gobby Geordie TWAT Man! (erm, an’ that…)
So ta-ta then Phillip! Quite liked you meself, bonnie lad (for a gobby twat an’ that…)
(And is it just me or is that Lorraine Tighe – when all is said and done – not a bit of a old boiler stroke minger? And a bit of a tricky one at that when you think? One that would need a regular servicing, if ya follow, boiler-wise? Just thought I’d point that out…)
And as you pack your “Pants Man” Phillip, here’s a Geordie Joke in tribute, to help “manage your exit” (if you’ll pardon that particular expression…)
Steady as you go – take care an’ that – ya gobby Geordie twat an’ that like but.
Here it comes:
Two Geordies lost in the Jungle when they suddendly hear drums:
One says to the other: “Wah man! Are those war drums?”
And the other one says:
“Nah man – I think they’re someone else’s…”
Haddaway an’ shite ya big Geordie Chief!
Stan Trolley
Also available now to stalk, erm, follow, on TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley
And now, as a bonus cheeky-chappy-chaser, here’s another pikkie:
Phillip Taylor not only removed from "The Apprentice 2009" but also, erm, obviously from Kate Walsh's mouth www.stantrolley.com
Keepin’ it real – Stan T
May Day! May Day!
Yep, prize turnip Noorul “Neural Bypass” Choudhury goes tits-up off of “The Apprentice 2009″. And indeed yes, what a tit…
Is it just me – May Day! May Day! – or has “Neural Bypass” got a very small head? (or of course that could just be a perspective problem on account of his extra-large “Harry Hill” style collar?)
You have a look:
Noorul Bypass "Pin Head" Choudhury contemplates his evolutionary short-fall, as he goes tits-up off of "The Apprentice 2009" www.stantrolley.com
Er, no – definitely a pin-head.
Apparently he had offered to leave his brain to science, but they said: “Erm, no thanks…”
Noorul Choudhury Ladies & Gentlemen: As much use as the old provebial one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest.
Keepin’ it real
P.S Come join your Uncle Stan on Facebook if you’d like to: As in “Come sit on My Face-erm-Book” and tell me that you love me…
Plus of course there’s Twitter (www.twitter.com/stantrolley) er, – ooh yes – and of course the Stan Trolley YouTube Channel too: www.youtube.com/stantrolley (I’ll even come round your house if the money’s right…)
Stan T
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