Poor old Rocky ey? Wass he gonna do?
Thrown out of Middlesborough Football Club with arthritic knees at 16 – then before he knows where he is he’s dispatched as the second one to go off of the Apprentice 2009, with Sir Alan’s boot up his arse for being a hapless fuckwit… All that – and he’s only 21 bless him.
So what’s he going to do? Continue reading
What the fark is going on?!
Gordon Brown has only been an’ gawn an recruited your hero and mine – Sir Alan “Sid James” Sugar as special advisor & “Captain of Enterprise” for the Labour Party…
Gordon - You're Fired (he-ha-ha!) www.stantrolley.com
A bit like William Shitactor, er, Shatner as Captain Kirk off of Star Trek yelling at Simon Pegg, er, Scotty, to help “get us out of here and avert disaster”:
“The Dilithium Crystals of the Labour Party cannae’ tek it Captain – I’m giving her all she’s got…”
Pause
“Sir Alan will see you in the Boardroom now Gordon…”
“Gordon Brown: You’re Fired – He-ha-ha” (See photo above…)
Now there’s a surprise – erm not – and, as ever, nice one Sir Alan…
All we need now is Anne Robinson as some “token bird” being brought in to replace all of those other WAGs (Women Against Gordon) that have already abandoned him – and then yep, you guessed it – we’ll have a cracking sentence – with Anne Robinson – a bit like William Shatner in a dress as Captain Kirk – and Sir Alan Sugar as Leanord Nimoy (but with a poc-marked face instead of pointy ears) as Spok:
“Gordon: You are the weakest link – YOU’RE FIRED…He-ha-ha” (Scotty, put your foot down cock and take us to next Elections…)
“Aye aye Captain”…etc
"Gordon: You are the weakest link - You're Fired" www.stantrolley.com
Keepin’ it real – and very much UP
Stan T (for Pime Minister, erm, obviously)
http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley
And also now available to stalk, er, follow – on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley
P.S Check this out: Leonard Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” on YouTube (what a TWAT!)
Yep, “The Apprentice 2009″ continues and lovely-jubbs it all is too!
Phillip “Pants Man” Taylor gets the old “You’re Fired!” heave-ho from Sir Alan.
And nice one Sir Alan (as ever):
“One swallow don’t make a Summer!”
(I assume he was talking about birds rather than blow-jobs at that particular point?)
And so in conclusion then, on Episode 7:
“Phillip loves Kaaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaaaaate…” erm, etc…
Phillip loves Kaaate, Phillip loves Kaaaate: Phillip Taylor - the old soppy-dog - goes tits-up, off of "The Apprentice 2009" (and is ultimately "Pants Man") www.stantrolley.com
You old soppy-dog!
Yep, “Pants Man” you’ve jizzed in your “Pants Man” but tragically you’ve got to pack your “Pants Man” on account of the fact that “YOU’RE FIRED” er, Man – on account of you being a little gobby Geordie TWAT Man! (erm, an’ that…)
So ta-ta then Phillip! Quite liked you meself, bonnie lad (for a gobby twat an’ that…)
(And is it just me or is that Lorraine Tighe – when all is said and done – not a bit of a old boiler stroke minger? And a bit of a tricky one at that when you think? One that would need a regular servicing, if ya follow, boiler-wise? Just thought I’d point that out…)
And as you pack your “Pants Man” Phillip, here’s a Geordie Joke in tribute, to help “manage your exit” (if you’ll pardon that particular expression…)
Steady as you go – take care an’ that – ya gobby Geordie twat an’ that like but.
Here it comes:
Two Geordies lost in the Jungle when they suddendly hear drums:
One says to the other: “Wah man! Are those war drums?”
And the other one says:
“Nah man – I think they’re someone else’s…”
Haddaway an’ shite ya big Geordie Chief!
Stan Trolley
Also available now to stalk, erm, follow, on TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley
And now, as a bonus cheeky-chappy-chaser, here’s another pikkie:
Phillip Taylor not only removed from "The Apprentice 2009" but also, erm, obviously from Kate Walsh's mouth www.stantrolley.com
Keepin’ it real – Stan T
Not too much Sugar in Sir Alan’s new healthy cereal one can only assume then?
Anyway, wake up call for Kimberley Davis, Project Leader on “The Apprentice 2009”:
Your groups’ idea of “PANTS MAN” for the Cereal Brand Ad Campaign was, erm, pants (man)…
And sure enough Kimberley “Im not creative I manage creatives” (oh riiight thanks for clarifying Kimberley) Davis got to “pack her pants early” - both literally & with fear - as she exited as Arch Turnip Number 4 to be booted off with Sir Alan’s “You’re Fired!” boot up her arse off of “The Apprentice 2009”
Kimberley Davis is "All American Pants" as she crashes out of "The Apprentice 2009" www.stantrolley.com
Well that’s just great isn’t it? We can all sleep soundly in our beds and not worry about our finances or the future of British business at all, what with Paula – “you do the Math” – Jones in charge as “Team Smelly” Project Leader on “The Apprentice 2009″.
Paula "You Do the Math" Jones nose-bags out of "The Apprentice 2009", like the plank of Sandlewood she is...www.stantrolley.com
She may have smelt very nice – and been “all creative” and that (bless her) – but the sweet smell of success (with an expensive hint of Sandlewood) still turned to the usual right-old-farty-smell-of-failure for Paula “you do the math” Jones, as she became arch-turnip number 4 to crash out of “The Apprentice 2009″.
“Right, so let’s just get that right then: Sandlewood @£1,270.00 a litre, right – and we want (what do we want?) oh yeah, we need about 0.4 of a litre – so that’s, erm, that’s erm, that’ll be? Well that’s – that’s fuck all that is isn’t it? Be about a fiver?”
Yeah right!
And as Nick “the Judge” Hewer said on his enigmatic departure from that particular scene up the Perfumiers: “Right – so – I’ll leave that – particular calculation with you then…” Nice one Nick, excellent! All set for the offshoot programme, “Countdown to The Fuckwit’s Apprentice”, all about Maths & with Carol Vordeman – coming soon…
And as for the other lot, what hope with “Nural bypass” Noorul Choudhury at the helm?
“To Bond Street men! Erm, which way is it? Can’t see for the bees…” erm, etc.
Soap on a fuckin’ rope!
So what would you rather bee or a wasp then, ey?
Stan Trolley
http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley
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