Yep: Ladies & Gentlemen – Friends, Romans, Countrymen – Lend Me Your Rears…
I/Me/Stan Trolley – am proud to announce a New World Record: The fastest Knob-Gag in History no less, with the punchline delivered – I think you’ll find – in exactly 9.48secs – clipping a full 1/10th of a second – I think you’ll find – off of that Usain Bolt 100m quick mince/dash or wo’eva in Berlin at the World Championships earlier on today:
I thank you! (and pish – it was nothing…) Continue reading
Yep: Can you believe (to quote Michael Stipe and REM) they put a STAN on the moon? (singing “Stan on the Mooooon…”)
Yep – Stan Trolley – Moon Base Wheeliebin AT your service…
And is it just me – or is Neil Armstrong not a bit of a short-arse?
"Small step for me - huge step for - fuck me what's that?!"
I was wondering when you guys’d show up: I’ve been up here on me todd, all alone in me extra large tardis-like Wheeliebin – broadcasting knob-gags to the Stars for years – and 40 years ago today – to the day – you guys go and show up!
What are the chances ey?!
And seeing as you’ve come all this way – and seeing as you’re here – no point in going away empty handed: You may as well go home with a STICKER…
Stantrolley.com: Provider & broadcaster of Knob Gags to the Stars...
So stick that on your Lunar Module and smoke it!
Keepin’ it real – and indeed Lunar…
Yours, celestially
Stan Trolley
Watch this space (I mean this one – not the “final frontier” one, erm, etc…)
Hee, hee! On your Bike!
A German Brothel is offering discounts to punters who arrive on bicycles!
Yep – up the Maison D’Envie in Berlin (I’ve often wanted to give someone one up the Maison D’Envie myself) customers can apparently claim a 5 EURO discount if they can prove that they travelled there to the said “Establishment of Horizontal Refreshment” by bike! Continue reading
Yep: “Stan Trolley’s in the house!” (well, in me bin more specifically…)
Recording more Jokes tomorrow so “Your Jokes Wanted” sharpish…
Text your favourite jokes to Stan Trolley on 07738 010 640
Phone, text or e-mail all your favourite Jokes of the moment to me Stan T NOW!
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And coming soon: “Joke of the Day” from Stan Trolley on BoreMe.com as from September 1st…
Comic Actress Mollie Sugden pops her cork then, at the ripe old age of 86.
Ta-ta then Mollie...She's taken her tired old pussy with her apparently (And the question on everyone's lips of course: "Are there any cat-flaps in heaven?")
And look at that picture: None of that “Stop all the Clocks – cut off the telephone” type shit that you get in most funereal tributes with that WH Auden Poem – Oh no! Just – “Fill Up” – at the bottom of the picture…
I mean “fill up” what? Your “eyes with tears”? Or “your car with Diesel” more like…
(And of course looking at that picture of that Alsation pooch up-top-right: That’s implying she was a bit of a dog or some shit like that when you think…I dunno…Just as well old Doggie, er Mollie, has had the sweet release of death…)
Anyway, far be it from me…
So ta-ta then Mrs Slocombe.
Quick question for you: “Are You Being Served?”
“Er, no – not as such – as I’m actually dead – a bit like Mr Humphreys when you think…”
And did you know that every time Mollie Sugden appeared on “Are You Being Served” as Mrs Slocombe, her pussy was died a different colour? (Or was that the hair on her head?)
And whilst I’m at it – vis-a-vis deaths and that – the true cause of Michael Jackson’s death has now been revealed – I can exclusively reveal – in one of his very own song lyrics – if you examine them carefully enough:
“Don’t blame it on the Sunshine, don’t blame it on the Moonlight (here it comes, wait for it) blame it on the BOOGIE…I just can’t – I just can’t – I just can’t control myself…” etc
Bloody Boogie – got a lot to answer for has that…
Nice one Detective Trolley.
And talking of lyrics – is his own words from Billie Jean (slightly altered I confess, but still arguably lyrics nevertheless – and still serving as a warning to us all):
“Friends would always tell me: Be careful what you do. Don’t go around sucking young boys cocks…” (Backing Vocals: “Co-o-o-cks”).
Good point though ey? Only had himself to blame really – that and of course the “Boogie” as previously discussed.
Anyway – keep it real. Can’t spend all night blogging on to you. I’m off for a well deserved wank in the bottom of my bin.
(Where’s ya wheeliebin? Erm – I’ve wheeliebin havin’ a wank…)
Stan T
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