On Christmas Day only no less:

“Talk about a huge breast…”

“Whew – what a terrific spread!”

“It’s a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?”

“Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist…”

“Just lay back and take it easy – I’ll do the rest…”

“I’m in the mood for a little dark meat…”

“How long do I beat it before it’s ready?”

“Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it…”

“Don’t play with your meat…”

“Just spread the legs open and stuff it in…”

“How long will it take after you stick it in?”

“You’ll know when it’s ready when it pops up…”

“If I don’t undo my trousers I think I’ll burst…”

“That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen…”

“Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?”

“I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!”

“You still have a little bit on your chin…”

Er, etc…

Anyway, good luck weaving them in to the conversation. Happy Christmas one and all…

And finally, why not “take yourself off” (if you’ll pardon that particular expression) to BoreMe.com, to enjoy that old hoary chestnut “Jingle Farts” as a turkey-post-digestive-cheeky-chappy-chaser:

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2002/jingle_bells-p1.php

Marvellous!

Stan T

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