Must be a sign: Woke up this morning and me Baracks were once again snagged in me bin lid…
An ‘omage to the 34th American President – the one who has the cunning plan to use complete sentences – who is to be innaugurated today.
Hope he likes Knob gags…
On with the day.
Stan T
Now also available at http://www.funnyordie.co.uk http://www.funnyordie.com
and on MySpace too…
News just in:
Black women all over America are apparently all shaving their pubic hair in support of Barack Obama as the next President of the United States.
Their message to the World: “Read our lips: No more Bush…”
Quite right too.
I myself am shaving my own “Baracks” as we speak….
Stan T
“George Bush for ex-President” Campaign HQ – inside an extra large Wheeliebin (currently parked-up down some mingin’ alleyway up Bristol UK way…)
As it is November 5th I shall – naturally – be “lighting one off” from my arse crack specially, in tribute to Guy Fawkes – that erstwhile twat from history, who, let’s face it – not to piss on his fireworks or anything – couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery…
James the 1st wasn’t the 1st to think he was a twat.
And by the way – on that note visa-vis Guy Fawkes night and all that: ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN ME – STAN TROLLEY – AND THAT HAPLESS FUCKWIT GUY FAWKES IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL…
NO I AM NOT A FUCKIN’ “GUY” (or a Ladyboy for that matter whilst I’m on it) SO PLEASE DO PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME & MY WHEELIEBIN ALONE…
NO I DO NOT LIKE BEING WOKEN UP AT 4.00 A.M IN THE BLEEDING MORNING BY A CAT BEING HURLED INTO MY BIN WITH A ROCKET EMBEDDED IN ITS ARSE…GOING OFF WITH CLAWS, TEETH AND EVERYTHING IT WAS…
I rescued it, gave it a cuddle – and then it sprayed me – thanks a flaming lot.
“MY NAME’S STAN TROLLEY – AND I SMELL OF CAT PISS…”
Anyway, on a cheerier note on this epic day in history – November 5th in the year of my Wheeliebin 2008 – I knew that having my “Baracks” snagged in me wheeliebin bin-lid for the best part of the last week was apocrophal (how the flip do you spell “apocraphal-apocrophal-fuloffel-wo’eva?).
Barack’s only gawn and become President Elect ‘aint he?
I mean it was only a matter of time wasn’t it? Morgan Freeman did it in some film – then that bloke who was the black President (with the tricky wife) on “24″ giving that Jack Bauer the right old run around…Stuff always happens in 3’s doesn’t it? Be it farts, buses or black Presidents…
“I too have a dream…That one day all the knob gags in the World will rise up – and I shall become Lord of all comedy (and finally escape being caught in a vortex in an flippin’ extra large Wheeliebin…)”
Light one off for me tonight – but don’t scorch your arse…
Stan T
Don’t you just wish this bloke was President?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbeOpk8dOw8
What a twonk…
Obama – still got me “barrack”s snagged in the top flap of my wheeliebin Bob…
And woke up today feeling “pie-curious” – as in “got any pies”? I’m starving…
Stan T
Matt Damon is now fucking me, Stan Trolley: We’ve just watched some re-runs of the “Bourne Identity” and he’s feeling a bit more dominant…
Ben Affleck still happy on webcam – and Sarah Silverman is making a cup of Tea…
Obama, still got me “Baracks” snagged in me bin-lid…
Stan T
(feeling a bit light-headed)
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