A bloke comes home all bleary eyed – with ruffled hair, lipstick all over his collar and reeking of a strange perfume – at 7 o’clock in the morning…
His wife looks him up and down and says “There’d better be a good reason for you…waltzing in here at 7.00 a.m in the morning…”
“Too right” he says, “BREAKFAST..”
Harf, harf!
Marriage ey? A very beautiful thing…
Stan T
There was a young singer called Gately
Who hasn’t been singing much lately
After a bottle of rum
And a cock up his bum
His trip to the sun ended fatally….
er, marvellous…
(just “tossed that one off” - if you’ll pardon that particular expression…)
Stan T
Good as a contraceptive this position too, when you think…
Just hope it doesn't snap 'orf...
And of course this picture reminds me of that old hoary chestnut joke:
Q: Who’s the most popular man at a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry two cups of hot coffee and six donuts…
(Reckon I could probably manage about 8 – give or take – on this stuff though…)
Mine’s a large one
Stan T
(The double spin “dismount” with full tuck and pike is well worth a watch…)
P.S Oh yes – and if you get an email in the next couple of days from the NHS, telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu – ignore it: It’s SPAM…
Oh and P.S.S – Do you remember that Nationwide Programme way back when, when Michael Barrett having just watched Fanny (steady) Cradock cook Donuts said: ”And I do hope all of your donuts at home, turn out like Fanny’s…”. I do – but then I’m obviously an old git…
Look at that – a kindred spirit outside the Cashpoint “juggling his finances”…
Juggling the old finances in times of credit crunch...
It’s all a matter of keeping your balls in the air (madam) during times of credit crunch, I always say.
But do watch out for being a talentless twonk – cos you ain’t going to earn much standing outside a Cashpoint being a 3 ball juggler…Just ask Simon Cowell (and mind you, don’t fancy me own chances much as a “Clown in a Wheeliebin” either as it goes…Not so much “X Factor” as “Y? Factor” when you think)
Person at Cashpoint:
“Oh I must just bung some of my hard earnt cash on to that highly talented street performer/homeless person or wo’eva, immediately to my left – as a matter of priority – as soon as I get my hands on it…erm, or possibly not…Oh Sod it – I’ll just ignore ‘im”.
Life ey?
(I just hope people will turn up the old “knob-gag counter” in times of hardship: Then my days as a hapless twonk caught in a vortex in an extra large tardis-like Wheeliebin could well be coming to end…)
1st Clown in Space? My arse! Get in the queue mate!
Well TOO LATE MATE!
Because I’m here to tell you – “Matey” – that yours truly, your Uncle Stan Trolley was actually on the Moon months before you mate…
I refer the reader to my earlier Blog Entry of July 20th to coincide with the 40th Anniversary of the Navada Desert er, Moon Landings:
20th July: “Can you believe – they put a Stan on the Moon? (Stan on the Mooooon…)”
And here’s the flippin’ pics to PROVE IT:
"Small step for man, huge step for...FUCK ME what's that?!" Yeah, Neil - that Guy Laliberté bloke's a bit LATE isn't he?!
Stan Trolley: Supplier and broadcaster of Knob Gags to the Stars...
So – Guy Laliberte, Billionaire Founder of Cirque De Soleil – SUCK ON THAT!
I may be skint and living out of the top-flap of an extra large Wheeliebin and peddling knob-gags (and to the Stars I might add) but at least I was flippin’ FIRST!
Keepin’ it real
Stan T
( I reckon that Guy Laliberté must be totally gutted…)
My name’s Stan Trolley – and I’m a joke-a-holic: Welcome to the “Old Jokes Home”
Eat your hear out Mel gibson you caaaaaaaaaaaant!
Stan Trolley explains how to ascertain a Scotsman’s [...]
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