Someone round here’s breath is like a badger’s arse after a damned good forage around the forest looking for a place to take a shit…Whoopsy, on balance tis’ probably me…That’s what you get I suppose for swilling your mouth out with a gob-full lumpy milk…Plus some arsehole’s wiped dog shit off the side of their foot & right up the side of me bin…It’s a real arse being me sometimes.
Day brightened up significantly however, when a pissed up Aussie lifted up me top flap Bob – and told me a pretty good Australian-themed joke, imaginatively entitled: Stan Trolley’s “Two Aussies in a Bar” Joke…”
Have some of that!
Am now off to treat meself to a celebratory shit to curl one out “Aussie Foreplay” styley: “Brace yaself Sheila…”
Strangled a cock at 5.26 a.m. And no – that’s not a euphemism…
Managed to strangle the little feathered git, having set a trap for it with a cardboard box, a pickled egg and a stick – which some twonk had chucked in me bin with a bit of doggy-doo on the end of it….nice…
Flippin’ farm animals…
The bin seems to be shaking a bit now, so with a bit of luck we should be leaving soon…
Haven’t managed one yet. All the excitement with the dead cock an’ all, seems to have tightened me right up…
It’s all a bit runny today. Tail end of a kebab with chilli sauce and three pickled onions probably not the best combo…Still, least it’s out, flock of sparrowsnotwithstanding. Wiped on a bit of greaseproof paper. Bastard stuff seems to be shit-proof as well. Think I’ve got a bit of coleslaw snagged up there…No bloody soap of course. Not all glamour being me…
Stan T
Caught in a vortex in an extra large tardis-like Wheeliebin…
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