I had a dream – a bit like that Martin Luther King bloke (only I didn’t get shot immediately afterwards) that Johhny Depp, right, dressed as Jack Sparrow, paid a visit to my Wheeliebin. I say paid a visit “to” I meant “against”…

Anyway I lifted up me top flap – and there he was: Jack Sparrow – bold as brass and showing his arse – taking a leak against me Wheeliebin…And Gawd bless ‘im, once he’d finished, he looked up, offered me what was left of his kebab, farted, and then mumbled the following fateful words: “Wheeliebins of the Caribbean…”

To which I replied, quick as a flash: “Sweepy Todd – Demon Bin-Man of Sweep Street…”

Not sure what any of that was about, but thought I’d share that with you…

“Wheeliebins of the Caribbean” – is that an idea with wheels or what?

Dreams ey? Who’d ‘av ‘em?

I reckon that Jack Sparrow must be a kindred spirit or something…

Food for thought – but no actual kebab when you think…

Stan Trolley