Not too much Sugar in Sir Alan’s new healthy cereal one can only assume then?

Anyway, wake up call for Kimberley Davis, Project Leader on “The Apprentice 2009”:

Your groups’ idea of “PANTS MAN” for the Cereal Brand Ad Campaign was, erm, pants (man)…

And sure enough Kimberley “Im not creative I manage creatives” (oh riiight thanks for clarifying Kimberley) Davis got to “pack her pants early” - both literally & with fear - as she exited as Arch Turnip Number 4 to be booted off with Sir Alan’s “You’re Fired!” boot up her arse off of “The Apprentice 2009”

Kimberley Davis is "All American Pants" as she crashes out of "The Apprentice 2009" www.stantrolley.com

And nice one Sir Alan: “Kimberley, you remind me of the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtains…” (or indeed pull aside the pants, erm, Madam) “and it’s like there’s nothing there” (saving of course a winey, irritating all American pants-person – who isn’t creative: She manages creatives you see – with pants on her head: See picture).

And as for Phillip the Geordie “Toys oot a me pram if you don’t all gaan with my idea like” Taylor: What WAS he on about?!

Let’s just remind ourselves of the basic premise of his Ad Campaign pitch – read of course in a thick (twat) Geordie accent:

“I’ve gorrit man! Ahm thinkin’ that – like – eating this cereal right like – is like so natural it’s like you’re naked an’ that – but erm, still wearing pants…And so like if ye don’t eat them – these cereals I mean right - then it makes you go and put your pants on incorrectly and that by mistake – on ya heed and back to front an that. And you see that’s why I’ve thought of this great character called, erm, “Mr Pants” (an that man…) – and what he does right is he inspires you to put your pants on properly an that – you know, as I say, because you’ve eaten the cereal an’ that..”

Clear as mud me old cocker:

“What are ya taakin’ aboot bonnie lad Phillip man like but twat like man? That’s just bollocks is that!”

No getting away from it – your idea of PANTS MAN was not just pants man – it was complete SHITE: An idea so bad in fact that it deserves the award of an aggressive arse-splitting wedgey: One so agressive in fact that you actually end up with your pants on your head:

“Ow, me pants man…” (like but)

And let us not forget – we all know do we not chickens? – that there is a very thin dividing line between creative genius and out-and-out TWAT (see of course www.stantrolley.com and you’ll see exactly what I mean – and of course you can be the judge) but let’s be honest, there’s no debate:

Phillip “David Brent” Taylor skirted right over the edge into total twatdom and no mistake – with that particular “Pants Man” Ad Campaign idea…

(And actually whilst we’re thinking about it – another angle – going with the logic of Phillip’s original premise an that: It could be that all your ingredients, right – you know your bran flakes, your cranberries, your almond flakes an’ that – they could all be right – and get this – they could all be like you’re actually eating desiccated arse- scrapings from Mr Pants’ gusset…

Then Bob’s your uncle: “Mr Pants’ Arse Scrapings” could be your actual new cereal brand…

What do you think of that then Sir Alan?

“Stan – you’re hired…” Unlikely, but just a thought:

Stan T

Also strangely available to stalk on Twitter

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley