Well that’s just great isn’t it? We can all sleep soundly in our beds and not worry about our finances or the future of British business at all, what with Paula – “you do the Math” – Jones in charge as “Team Smelly” Project Leader on “The Apprentice 2009″.

Paula "You Do the Math" Jones nose-bags out of "The Apprentice 2009", like the plank of Sandlewood she is...www.stantrolley.com

She may have smelt very nice – and been “all creative” and that (bless her) – but the sweet smell of success (with an expensive hint of Sandlewood) still turned to the usual right-old-farty-smell-of-failure for Paula “you do the math” Jones, as she became arch-turnip number 4 to crash out of “The Apprentice 2009″.

“Right, so let’s just get that right then: Sandlewood @£1,270.00 a litre, right – and we want (what do we want?) oh yeah, we need about 0.4 of a litre – so that’s, erm, that’s erm, that’ll be? Well that’s – that’s fuck all that is isn’t it? Be about a fiver?”

Yeah right!

And as Nick “the Judge” Hewer said on his enigmatic departure from that particular scene up the Perfumiers: “Right – so – I’ll leave that – particular calculation with you then…” Nice one Nick, excellent! All set for the offshoot programme, “Countdown to The Fuckwit’s Apprentice”, all about Maths & with Carol Vordeman – coming soon…

And as for the other lot, what hope with “Nural bypass” Noorul Choudhury at the helm?

“To Bond Street men! Erm, which way is it? Can’t see for the bees…” erm, etc.

Soap on a fuckin’ rope!

So what would you rather bee or a wasp then, ey?

Stan Trolley

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley